It has been a rough month saying goodbye to my mom. Babette had been in the hospital for months and I think she saw the end coming, but no amount of planning or expectation would have made her passing any easier for her family. I want her to still be with us, hoping for a cure for MS, seeing her grandkids, and sharing our lives.
That being said, she was in a bad way before the end. She was in constant pain and needed lots of morphine and other painkillers. We traced most of the pain to her teeth and after Jeanine and I struggled to get the money to pay the dentist to treat her, we hoped that would make her want to go on. In the end the pain was too much and she had to let go. So in a way, I am selfish for wanting her to try and continue when she clearly needed to go to a better place.
The funeral was perfect in every way and she would have thought so. Michael and Daniel served as lectors during the mass and I know she would have gotten a kick out of that. The reception afterward had a Hawaiian theme and the mai tais were flowing, very much to her liking, too, I’m sure.
I am amazed and grateful for the enormous support we received, I can never thank those people enough for being there.
I was not there for her actual passing and that will make it much easier for me to remember her as the living, loving, wonderful woman she was to us.
And like Jeanine said during the mass, I hate MS.